If you’re gonna be a loser be a nice one

At this point in my life I am very used to things not working out for me. It’s honestly part of my personality at this point. I’m not bitter, just accepting that life usually gives me lemons- but hey, I’m here for it! I don’t win Bingo or get asked to school dances. My mom and I always called it our Carol Burnett moments. It seems like something good is happening but then a hiccup hits and things seem to fall apart. It’s kind of an intangible concept to explain but I know there has to be someone else out there that gets what I’m saying.

So, what do you do when you feel like a loser? You be a nice one! This might come off as self-centered but I think self-centered and being a loser are a little contradicting so I promise there’s a good moral behind this. You feel like you can’t win, people don’t like you, no one invites you to the party, every boy you have a crush on has a crush on your best friend. They hit you with the classic “What’s your friend’s name?”. OUCH. This might be the biggest lesson I have ever learned in my entire life… BE NICE. BE YOU. BE A NICE LOSER.

Start doing the things that make you happy like waking up early and working out, or sleeping in late and getting coffee with your mom. And you will soon realize that no one cares what you do and if they care, they are probably jealous that you are living your best life.

Hi! It’s Helen almost an entire year later. I am currently writing another blog entry, but am sort of struggling with it so I decided to go through my drafts and this one caught my attention. Because let me tell you, do I feel like the BIGGEST loser ever right now. And it is tough, man. I mean trying to be a girl boss is a full time job. I’m kidding, but really this post college life is a challenge. I am about a month out and while I have experienced a lot of wins with my jobs, school, and overall well being, I feel like a loser. At first I felt really free and ready to just put my head down and work really really hard all summer. But then the weekends came, I sat in my room doing nothing, I saw people doing fun things, and I felt sad.

I try really hard to be a good person and do what I say I am going to do, but that is not always the most directly rewarding route. Sometimes it feels like nothing good will ever stick with me ya know? But I think the most important thing to remember in times of change and uncertainty is that nothing is linear. The good and the bad comes in waves but if you stay true to yourself, no one can take that away from you. It is kind of cool I am just at the beginning of my life and I get to choose who I surround myself with and what I do on a Friday night. The fun will come and if it doesn’t then I will just create my own. No one has all of the right answers or the key to success. And it is different for every person. Everything is a human construct anyway so who gives a flying f***.

If you are going to be a loser, be a nice one. If you are going to be a girl boss, don’t feel like you owe anyone any explanations.

This post probably is not my most entertaining or inspiring post, but I am bored and it is Friday night so what else is there to do?

TTTYL,

HK

Enjoy the space between where you are now and where you are going.